TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Reviewed by Sam Hatch
Michael Bay's 2007 film adaptation of the seminal 80s cartoon The Transformers was a mixed bag, but its strong thematic spine (about a socially awkward, hormonally charged boy and his first car) and jaw loosening special effects kept the overall experience a positive one. This prerequisite sequel certainly suffers from a "bigger is better" mindset, but occasionally gets it right.
The first pleasant surprise is that the saga of the titular transforming robots (both evil Decepticons and the vehicular, human-coddling Autobots) is far richer in this film. In place of a massive cube and a pile of boring hangars that looked like hand-me-down sets from Independence Day, Revenge of the Fallen delivers a deeper mythology laden with historical revelations (the bots have already been to Earth way back in the day) and near-interesting power struggles (not even uber-baddie Megatron is atop the Decepticon pecking order).
Sadly, the human story doesn't fare as well. The continuation of Sam Witwicky's robotic adventures starts out strong, with new plot fodder of an impending move to college. Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is insistent that everyone must acknowledge him as an independent young man, and he yearns to leave both his parents and the Autobots in the dust. It should come as no surprise that the only person he wishes to keep close is his superhot grease monkey girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox), but much to his chagrin she's forced to remain behind to help out her newly rehabilitated ex-con father.
Given the recent hubbub surrounding LaBeouf's romantic coupling with Fox, it's surprising to note that there are far fewer sparks between the two in this film. Something about their relationship seems off, and as their affections feel more and more forced, it grows increasingly harder to care about them. Perhaps they were working overtime to quash tabloid rumors, but wound up tossing out the proverbial baby with their thespian bathwater? Also returning to the fold are the largely bland Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson, now part of a US sanctioned Autobot-centric ass kicking squadron. John Turturro also reappears as disgraced Sector 7 agent Reggie Simmons, proffering an embarrassing level of uncut ham.
The first film suffered from an overdose of useless characters (particularly those of the computer whiz kid ilk), so thankfully in this outing the screenwriters (J.J. Abrams faves Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman and The Ring scribe Ehren Kruger) stick with the main crew for the most part. It's certainly a bloated product on its own, so who knows how long it would have been had too many new faces been injected. Though unable to resist the allure of ultimately unhelpful hacker types, the film introduces a gang of comedy relief computer junkies in Sam's college dorm room. They also just happen to be the second-biggest collective of conspiracy theorists obsessing over the classified alien invasion seen in the first film.
Certainly a more welcome set of additions include a plethora of fresh robot eye candy, from a super-baddy cleverly named “The Fallen” to an awesomely rendered Constructicon monstrosity (named Devastator for those who care) tearing up the Egyptian desert. Since Bay is only interested in either overly serious, stoic characters or comedic relief dunces with off-the-chart levels of goofiness, we unfortunately get plenty of the latter. There are a number of silly appliances sparked to life from the Witwicky household kitchen (after a heretofore unnoticed shard of the All Spark falls from the depths of Sam's backpack), and one spunky RC toy truck eventually becomes Mikaela's unwitting prisoner.
Cartoon acolytes will also bemoan the decision to rewrite the Jetfire character from a cooler-than-cool F-14 Tomcat into a rusty, superannuated stealth bomber. Then there's the insanely bad idea of unveiling a Decepticon disguised as a horny, human female coed. Not only has the robots-as-us ruse been beaten to death lately (Battlestar Galactica, The Terminator series), but this ill-fitting gimmick also completely fails to gel with the overall concept. If these villainous bots can disguise themselves as people, why don't they just all do it and avoid the tedious task of pretending to be a boombox all day?
Still, by far the most controversial of these new additions are the clownish twin Chevys Skids and Mudflap (voiced by Tom Kenny and Reno Wilson respectively), cringe-inducing Ghettobots whose endless bickering is apparently meant to induce belly laughs. There have been plenty of explanations for their potentially offensive behavior, but didn't someone during the creative process think for a second that buck-toothed, slang-spewing jesters saying "Read? Nah man, we don't read!" just might be a bad idea? Sure, it wasn't intentional, but I hope it doesn't lead to robots with small eyes saying "Ah, so!" in the next film.
This lapse in judgment really comes as no surprise, since Bay has a recurring tendency to pepper his films with racist or homophobic "comedic" characters, and even the first Transformers featured Anthony Anderson as a stereotype enforcing buffoon. While the human characters don't quite suffer from these same broad strokes, there is an overwhelming amount of hysterical showboating on tap. Sam, Agent Simmons and fourth wheel Leo Spitz (Ramon Rodriguez) all suffer from an overdose of neurotic spazziness, and even the quirky fun of the Witwicky clan gets pushed over the edge when mom Judy (Julie White) runs around a college campus whilst tripping on a batch of pot brownies.
This edgier material is indicative of a larger problem, in that the film suffers from the same malaise as the recent Land of the Lost adaptation - neither picture knows what its audience is. While the first film's usage of sexual innuendo and saucy talk among the Witwicky family was innocent enough, here there's a broadened indulgence in swearing and adult humor. It seems to be written for those who were kids when the original television series was on, ignoring the fact that the robot factor is still going to attract actual kids just as much.
The film is also far too long to maintain the interest of fully-grown humans, never mind that of the fidgety children in the audience. The special effects are still as beautiful and convincing as they were the last time around, but the third act battle royale is just as slow and rickety as ol' Jetfire himself. Events devolve into typical Bay bombast, loaded with scene after scene of mindless screaming, people running in slow motion and robotic combatants who are generally indistinguishable from one another. The complexity of the robot design work is certainly ambitious, but too often the things resemble nothing but a bundle of nondescript steel shards once transformed.
The human factor (particularly Sam's personal journey) gets drowned in this sea of white noise, and not even a contrived plot device that conveniently dumps his parents into the midst of the action can get things back on track. As stunning as the Transformers are to gaze at, again the decision to voice them with cartoon actors cheapens the overall feel. Sure, it's a nice homage to the show, but nothing makes a multi-million dollar computer effect look cheaper than hell like giving him Spongebob Squarepants' voice. Not that the "real" actors fare much better. Nobody seems capable of injecting enthusiasm into his or her work, and in turn everything begins to fall flat.
If none of this matters to you and you simply want to enjoy a sheer blast of pure summer action, go see Star Trek. And then see Terminator Salvation. And when you're all out of options, lower your expectations a bit and check this one out. It's certainly not as bad as most would have you believe, but then again the first one wasn't nearly as good as everyone seems to believe. The initial premise was certainly promising, but the best elements run out of steam, leaving the experience to grow rather tiresome. There are fun moments, but this summer product never transforms into anything ultimately satisfying.