BALLS OF FURY
Reviewed by Sam Hatch
How far the mighty have fallen. That gimmicky setup – of a once brilliant athlete landing upon hard times, only to miraculously resurface at a later date – has been a cash crop of Hollywood for eons. Over the past year or so we've seen Stick It, Rocky Balboa and probably three or four other examples I didn't notice. So it's only natural that this overused device found itself the basis for numerous big-screen parodies. The problem is that there are so many comedies utilizing this seed (Kingpin, Blades of Glory, etc.), that it's become just as much (if not more so) of a cliché there than it is in the genre of “serious” sports films.
It should come as no surprise that the underground table tennis comedy Balls of Fury does little to reinvent this filmmaking style, and settles for regurgitating what has worked for countless others before it. Tony winner Dan Fogler (who looks like a beefier version of Curtis Armstrong) stars as Randy Daytona, a former child ping-pong prodigy whose military father (Robert Patrick in a too brief cameo) bets with the Triads on his own kid's games. This stressful knowledge hinders Randy in a sweaty battle for world championship status against the robotically over-masculine German competitor Karl Wolfschtagg (Reno 911's Thomas Lennon).
The kid's dazed reaction following defeat leads to an on-camera reading of the phrase “I'm going to Disneyland”, written on a nearby cue card in the event of his victory. The gaffe becomes a worldwide punchline, and haunts Randy all the way down the ladder of fame until he finds himself 'entertaining' customers at a cut-rate dinner theater. Shame and the guilt over his dad's ill fate transform Rodney into a chubby, self-loathing loser who nonetheless still harbors an unusual obsession over the British rock group Def Leppard.
The most interesting element of the film is that for the large part it's a reworking of the classic Bruce Lee film Enter the Dragon (even though its name references another movie - Fists of Fury). In that film, Lee's character was contacted by the British government to infiltrate a secret martial arts battle to the death on a mysterious Hong Kong island. In this film the villainous host of the exposition is not Han, but the feared Feng, who turns out to be Christopher Walken in a garish Chinese getup. George Lopez plays the FBI agent Ernie Rodriquez who contacts Randy and tries getting him back into paddling shape in time for Feng's recruiters to consider him worthy of an invite.
Acting legend James Hong (he was Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China!) is up against the overused concept of the blind asian master (Master Wong in this case), but he does the best with what's at hand and tosses off some nice jokes in the process. He's a Mu Shu restaurateur who clandestinely teaches the ancient Chinese sport of ping-pong. His niece Maggie (played by a barely clad Maggie Q) is his prize pupil, as she can easily best four or more opponents at once, often employing kung-fu wirework to defeat the abhorred, sex-starved ‘table jockeys'.
These people are all wary of training a fat, greasy past-his-prime turd, and with good reason – it is forbidden by the ancient honorable rules of Chinese ping-pong to teach a 'gweilo', aka white man. For a Bruce Lee fan, this is another cool segment, since it mirrors the very real incident in which Lee was forced into deadly battle in order to win the right to teach round-eyes how to perform Kung-Fu. The icing on the cake is that Jason Scott Lee appears as one of the villains Siu-Foo, and he reprises the spot-on Lee imitation he utilized while playing the martial arts legend in the biopic Dragon.
The 'dragon' Randy faces in this film is none other than a cute little girl (Na Shi La) with a tendency to hit uncomfortably low. This scene shares the same blight as others – that the film's trailer spoils most of the really good laughs, and repeatedly shows how confrontations end. If you've seen the trailer, you know what happens during this illegal ping-pong confrontation. Thankfully, there are some additional punch lines courtesy of Jason Scott Lee, who is pretty darned funny here.
Despite some good laughs, this section of the film feels fairly rote, and probably could have used a good montage segment (cue “Montage” by Trey Parker and Matt Stone). Instead, we're shown scene after scene of Randy failing miserably, so we have no idea why he instantly regains his mojo during the showdown with 'the dragon'. Likewise, Maggie Q suddenly falls for him for no apparent reason other than to generate chuckles over the thought of a woman like her dating a dumpy schlub with pizza slice sized sideburns and a wardrobe made up entirely of vintage Def Leppard concert tees.
By this point everyone's waiting for the introduction of Walken, and he does the best he can to entertain. Following the grand, pomp-laden entrance of Feng's litter, he casually emerges and addresses the room with “Okey dokey, artichokey.” I'm assuming that we're meant to believe that he is Chinese, for he was Wong's main disciple and as we know teaching whitey is a no-no. Walken, however, contradicts his Oriental garb (and the occasional pair of Mr. Yunioshi-styled coke-bottle glasses) by making no attempt whatsoever at either a Mandarin or Cantonese accent. Which of course makes the silly gag that much funnier.
More spoofs of Enter The Dragon ensue, including a consort-choosing scene – in this case all of the sex slaves are men, and once you decide to opt for this bonus there's no opt-out clause. Diedrich Bader is great in a small cameo as Daytona's chosen man slut Gary, even though they spend the night playing Boggle. There are other fun cameos in the film as well, including David Koechner, Patton Oswalt, Kerri Kenney, and Masi Oka (Hiro from Heroes) as an abused bathroom attendant. Ex-Talk Soup/Friends/Ghost Whisperer actress/comedian Aisha Tyler plays Feng's deadly sidekick Mahogany (the losers of each match merit a poisonous dart in the neck), though she is underused here.
The ensuing ping-pong battles are never that enthralling, but they don't have to be since they're really just a plot device for comedy antics. Unfortunately, most of the belly laughs in Balls Of Fury are front-loaded, so once the film moves to Feng's palace the best jokes have already come and gone. Lopez tries to spice things up with a tired Scarface routine, but there is an inspired moment of Def Leppard overload as Randy annoys everyone with his ‘intro music' before his worrisome rematch with Karl.
Thomas Lennon and director Robert Ben Garant have long been comedic heroes of mine, back to their side splittingly hilarious and often nonsensical MTV skit show The State. I've followed the careers of all State members ever since, from Viva Variety to Reno 911. Somewhere along the line Lennon and Garant spun off into the realm of writing big-budget comedies such as the recent remake of Taxi and Ben Stiller's mega hit Night at the Museum. Balls of Fury is a little less mainstream than those features, but not enough. There are too many gross out gags involving nasal fluids and painful anuses, and not enough brain-busting non-sequiturs.
The biggest problem this film faces is the juggernaut known as Superbad, since all contending comedies will no doubt pale in comparison. Balls of Fury is cute, and often laugh out loud funny, but it braves no new horizons and fails to hold a candle to the mythical genius of McLovin. Though do stick around during the credits for some silly shenanigans, more hilarity from Bader and a classic Walken bit. I know the longevity-challenged nature of physical competition makes 'against all odds' comebacks a cinema staple, but perhaps we can officially retire this trend so that it may possibly feel fresh again someday.