TM NEVER MIND THE OSCARS™!!!
CULTURE DOGS PRESENTS
THE 2005 WWUH FILM AWARDS…
TM
SUNDAY APRIL 3 @ 8 P.M.
Celebrate the anniversary of the birth of Toby Valk and cast your votes for the best AND the worst in Central Connecticut's cinema year of 2004 with the WWUHFfies on Culture Dogs!
For our second year, we honor those filmmakers who raised the bar (like, perhaps, Michel Gondry) and dishonor those who nailed us to it (like Mel Gibson)!
Sure, we honor a BEST PICTURE, but that's the only award we share in common with those OTHER awards!
They have ONE foreign language film category. We have four! They acknowledge twenty to forty actors' efforts in feature films. We get THE OTHER TEN! We also acknowledge five directors that the big boys ignored completely!
The other award shows nearly break their arms patting themselves on the back, but do THEY acknowledge when Hollywood screwed up? We do with no less than NINE awards! We even acknowledge when BEN AFFLECK didn't stink so bad!
Who needs to honor original songs, when we have wonderful film performances of favorites (like Shaun of the Dead 's “White Lines (Zombie remix)”)?
In our horror award this year, it's zombies and ghosts versus Elvis and JFK! We honor the best comedies! We honor the best remakes! We bemoan the small tragedies of moviegoing last year with our WORST AUDIENCE and BUMMER awards! We wonder loudly why you haven't seen “Blind Shaft” yet! It's a celebration of moviegoing in Hartford! AND it's the shortest awards show EVER… well, we figure anyway…
End the awards season with a resounding thud! Listen for the WWUHFfies! Sunday April 3 rd from 8 to 9 PM on Culture Dogs!
-Kevin and Sam
THE BEST PICTURE AWARD
The Aviator
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Fahrenheit 9/11
Hero
The Incredibles
THE BEST OF THE 2005 ISLAND OF MISFIT FILMS
Fahrenheit 9/11
Hero
I ♥ Huckabees
Kill Bill Volume 2
Napoleon Dynamite
BEST ACTOR THE “BIG AWARDS” MISSED:
Jim Carrey, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”
Jon Heder, “Napoleon Dynamite”
Tony Leung, “Hero”
Kurt Russell, “Miracle”
Mark Wahlberg, “I ♥ Huckabees”
BEST ACTRESS THE “BIG AWARDS” MISSED
Maggie Cheung, “Hero”
Jena Malone, “Saved!”
Christina Ricci, “Monster”
Uma Thurman, “Kill Bill Volume 2”
Naomi Watts, “I ♥ Huckabees”
BEST ENSEMBLE CAST
Dogville
Garden State
I ♥ Huckabees
Shaolin Soccer
Shaun of the Dead
THE DIRECTOR THE OSCARS WILL REGRET OMITTING SOMEDAY AWARD
Brad Bird, “The Incredibles”
Shane Carruth, “Primer”
Alfonso Cuaron, “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban”
Zhang Yimou, “Hero”
Michel Gondry, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”
BEST COMEDY OR WRESTLING FILM
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Napoleon Dynamite
Shaolin Soccer
Shaun of the Dead
Sideways
THE ZÉ DO CAIXÃO HORROR FILM OF THE YEAR AWARD
Bubba Ho-Tep
Dawn of the Dead
The Grudge
Ju-On: The Grudge
Shaun of the Dead
BEST FILM ADAPTED FROM A COMIC BOOK OR GRAPHIC NOVEL
Blade: Trinity
Catwoman
Hellboy
The Punisher
Spider-Man 2
BEST MUSIC DOCUMENTARY
Broadway: The Golden Age
Festival Express
Mayor Of The Sunset Strip
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
Scratch
BEST MUSICAL OR MUSIC THEMED FILM
De-Lovely
Ella Enchanted
Ray
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
Team America: World Police
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM (EUROPEAN) THAT OPENED IN CONNECTICUT
Hard Goodbyes: My Father
Kitchen Stories
Seducing Dr. Lewis
To Be And To Have
A Very Long Engagement
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM (ASIAN (NON-BOLLYWOOD/ JAPAN)) THAT OPENED IN CONNECTICUT
Blind Shaft
Hero
Osama
Shaolin Soccer
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
BEST REMAKE
Dawn of the Dead
The Grudge
The Ladykillers
The Manchurian Candidate
Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman
BEST SEQUEL OR PREQUEL
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Kill Bill Volume 2
The Bourne Supremacy
Shrek 2
Spider Man 2
BEST SONG PERFORMANCE IN A FILM
“California Dreamin' (Shaolin Is Great),”-Shaolin Soccer
“White Lines (Zombie remix),”-Shaun of the Dead
“AIDS,”-Team America: World Police
“Holding on for a Hero,”-Shrek 2
“Hold On,”-Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
COOLEST BOLLYWOOD ARRIVAL OF THE YEAR
Anaahat (Eternity)
Deewaar
Dev
Phir Milenge
Swades
COOLEST JAPANESE MOVIE OF THE YEAR
Gozu
Ju-On: The Grudge
Tokyo Godfathers
The Twilight Samurai
Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman
JACKIE CHAAAAANNNN! FILM OF THE YEAR
Around the World in 80 Days
Wheels on Meals
MOST DEPRESSING FILM OF THE YEAR or THE HIDE THE RAZOR BLADES AWARD
Closer
Dogville
Osama
Since Otar Left
29 Palms
MOST DISTURBING ARRIVAL OF PARENTS AT A SCREENING WITH VERY YOUNG CHILDREN IN TOW
Dawn of the Dead
Godsend
The Passion of the Christ
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
MOST OVERLOOKED
Blind Shaft
Her Majesty
Primer
Robot Stories
Shaolin Soccer
MOST PLEASANT SURPRISE
Blind Shaft
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
Miracle
Napoleon Dynamite
National Treasure
THE “BLANK-ING BLANK” FILM OF THE YEAR AWARD or WAY TO GO, GERUND!
Being Julia
Chasing Liberty
Finding Neverland
Raising Helen
Seducing Dr. Lewis
THE “HEY! IS THAT WETA?” SPECIAL EFFECTS AWARD
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Hero
Shaolin Soccer
Spider-Man 2
THE “IT'S ABOUT TIME IT CAME TO HARTFORD!” AWARD
Hero
Her Majesty
Ju-On: The Grudge
September 11
Shaolin Soccer
THE 2005 ANIMATED FEATURE AWARD
The Incredibles
Shrek 2
Teachers Pet
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
Tokyo Godfathers
THE “… NEVER CAME OUT THEATRICALLY IN HARTFORD? WHY I OUGHTTA…!” AWARD:
Dark Water
Ned Kelly
Uzumaki
BEN AFFLECK FILM THAT STUNK LEAST
Going Upriver: The Long War of John Kerry
Jersey Girl
Surviving Christmas
LEAST PLEASANT SURPRISE
Closer
The Stepford Wives
The Phantom of the Opera
The Passion of the Christ
Godsend
MOST OVERRATED
Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera
Closer
The Hunting of the President
The Passion of the Christ
The Saddest Music in the World
THE BUMMER AWARD
Fahrenheit 9/11 - big splash in theaters, but not big enough to get W out
Gibson's Passion- over $600 million worldwide
Lord of the Rings- no fourth movie… yet
Closer- got any awards (except negative ones)
The Village- mismarketed as a “Sixth Sense” style thriller
WORST HAIRDO
Jim Carrey (“Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events”)
Aaron Ruell, (“Napoleon Dynamite”)
Parker Posey (“Blade: Trinity”)
Karl Urban (“The Chronicles of Riddick”)
Mark Wahlberg, (“I ♥ Huckabees”)
WORST AUDIENCE
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- Walkouts
Passion of the Christ- People who saw and enjoyed it
After the Sunset: - Old couples who thought they had walked into a Bond film
Godsend: Every interruption imaginable
Ray: People commenting on readily apparent things in the film which the late Ray Charles would not have needed explained to him.
WORST COMEDY OR WRESTLING FILM
Envy
My Baby's Daddy
Soul Plane
The Stepford Wives
Welcome to Mooseport
WORST REMAKE
The Big Bounce
The Punisher
Gamera: Guardian of the Universe
The Stepford Wives
Walking Tall
WORST SEQUEL OR PREQUEL
Alien Vs. Predator
Blade: Trinity
The Chronicles of Riddick
Gamera 3: The Revenge of Iris
The Same River Twice
SPECIAL BONUS ADDITION CATEGORY FOR THIS BALLOT!!!
FAVORITE NON-MUSIC DOCUMENTARY
Fahrenheit 9/11
The Five Obstructions
The Fog of War
To Be and to Have
Bush's Brain